How I feel the first week after the adoption…(this is from a booklet I was given to write in)
This first week has been incredibly hard for me. I hurt, I came home without the baby I gave birth to. My womb is empty and my tubes has been cut so that I never have to do this again. Yet, I know I made the best decision available to me. And I also know who you are with and how much they love you. I know it will get easier, but for now I just need to have time to grieve and think about the future, mine and yours.
15 years later…
I sure did “know” an awful lot, didn’t I? I was so busy trying to convince myself that this hole in my heart would heal over time and to an extent it does but not like I thought it would. Nothing fills that empty place, nothing stops the tears when I think of holding her that last time. Nothing softens the blow when I see the look on JE or DC’s faces when we talk about VG. It all makes that “loving choice” feel a little less loving.
andyoumakethree 