This is my entry from 4/7/1999…
Today is your 4 week birthday. JE and I sang Happy Birthday today on our way to her school this morning. I feel good. I’ve healed up, emotionally and physically. I rarely cry now, I know you’re okay, and I know why I made the choices I did and I’m at peace with myself now. I know that I can love you and let you go. JE has been a source of strength for me and we talk about and look at your pictures often. Please know that so many people love you, even my family!
15 years + later…
If I could re-write the note above it would go something like…Today is your 4 week birthday. JE and I sang Happy Birthday to you on our way to her school this morning. I feel ok. I have healed phsyically and while my heart still hurts I know that the pain will lessen over time. I don’t cry as much as I did at first, in large part because I do not want JE to see it. I know that I can always love you whether you are with us or not but I hate that I let you go. JE has been a huge source of strength for me, far more than a 6 year old should be for a parent but she is an amazing child! We talk about you all the time and wonder what you are doing. We look at your pictures often and try to decide who you look the most like. JE says you have HER blue eyes, I point out that I have blue eyes too but she says they are not the same. Please know that you are loved by so many people, those you have as family now and so many more we hope you will know one day in the future. You are loved, you are wanted, your are our VG.
Love,
Mom
andyoumakethree 